It's Easier to Catch than to be Caught

While at ACH, some sweet friends came to visit me. After overwhelming me with ways to help, they told me a little analogy. I think it was Tammy who wisely said, "Lisa, it's like when you're doing those trust exercises. You have to fall back and let us catch you!" Without hesitating, I said, "Yeah, but I want to be the one to catch!" It's definitely easier to be the one who catches than to be the one that gets caught. I've recognized this in myself for a while. I don't like the spotlight but LOVE to push others into it! I love to find ways to help others but this place we're in has literally thrust me out of my comfort zone in so many ways. I hope I learn the lesson quickly in this. I've had to lessen my grip on being in control. We always hear God's in control, but for us mommas I think that's so much easier said than done. I've literally had to remember Brayden is God's child first before he's ours. I'm trying to learn quickly. It's a scary place to be in but I'm learning to lean and trust more on the One we are supposed to all along. Not that I'm there yet. My clean freak-outs are averaging 1 per day.

I'm blessed with such a sweet husband. The to-do list was pretty long after being gone for a while. So I literally burst into the biggest smile of gratitude when hearing the vacuum cleaner (again after momma had vacuumed) to see he was cleaning the base boards, mini blinds, and windows. Ah, there's no better gift to give a clean-freak wife. Now matter how clean everything is, I still worry it's not good enough. And trust me, there's still a lot to cover. But we'll get there. Seeing Bryan's pain in Brayden's diagnosis was so tough. I had to remember I'm a wife too and comfort him. Then I was so chatatonic those first 36+ hours and he just led me along and helped to guide me around and take care of me. What a man I have!

I completely forgot to give credit to my Clorox hook-up! I guess ask and you shall receive! I mentioned in an earlier post last week that we needed a Clorox hook-up to get the house ready. Wow - was I in for a surprise. Waiting at my office were bags and boxes full of product! I think I could wall-paper our house in Clorox wipes! Love those! So thank you Kathie, Michael, Ken, members of the Clorox Team, whoever made it happen. We were so thankful not to have to buy more stuff at the store and were way overwhelmed at how much we had to work with! Thank you so much!!! Thank you also to Anita and your sweet girls and others from the school for the gift box for Brayden. He LOVED the giant-sized Star Wars coloring pages and has quickly picked out his first page to work on!

We've had a great weekend with Brayden. His spirits are high and when talking to him on the phone, so many have commented how great he sounds! Today has been the best day by far. We have our moments, but we're making it through. More and more reality is setting in on limitations. We were so thankful to hear from Juli in Brayden's class! You made his day by calling! I know he really can't wait until he can visit with everyone in person. And along with Brayden's determined spirit, his hair is apparently even more determined than he is. He still refuses to do something silly with it and go crazy and do a mohawk or SOMETHING since I'll really allow him to do whatever he wants. We're really surprised to be on Day 12 and no hair loss. Maybe it will be his miracle and he will be the slim percent that doesn't lose? So, mom is BEGGING now for him to let me trim it to no avail. We'll see how it goes. We're caught up on Charlotte's Web and can't wait to call in to the school tomorrow for the group discussion. We're also reading Flat Stanley and getting caught up on what few episodes he HASN'T seen of Phineas and Ferb and Suite Life of Zach and Cody. Bryan and I are officially well informed of all characters and plot lines!

Wednesday is round 3 of chemo in Little Rock. I previously got the dates wrong. May 20th is the magical day when he'll have another bone marrow aspirate and spinal. We're praying this is the day we hear "REMISSION!" Then we can move to Phase 2 of the 4 phases of treatment. For now, we'll be back in Little Rock for the next several Wednesday's for more chemo. He's doing so great on his meds here and I'm not having nightmares about his picc-line anymore since we have to flush it daily. Love to you all!