Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Prayers & update
We definitely felt bathed in prayers yesterday evening. It was such a different atmosphere for our little family than the night before. We're so grateful and appreciative for all the prayerful support. I've said it again and again since Brayden's diagnosis....there's no question God has held us many, many times when it seemed too difficult to make it through on our own. I can't imagine Brayden having to face all that he has without the foundation of faith and the same is true for us as parents. We each felt God's peace so strongly last night and instead of being overwhelmed by fear & uncertainty, we were able to be peacefully at rest. Being able to talk about things with my husband without breaking down was a huge step! We're trying to plan for Monday without planning for the worst and that's a challenge. There's still the worry there, no doubt. It's almost harder now because we're not as naive about it all. Before, we didn't know what we didn't know. Now, we know more than we wish we did about the awful effects and stories from other parents about relapse. We're just praying everything's okay. Honestly though...to be completely, brutally honest - it's an awful time for us. We're trying our best to be strong for Brayden but Bryan & I aren't doing so well. We're trying not to crack. The stress, fear, worry is almost overwhelming. Bryan & I are both so anxiety-ridden, it's insane. We're both trying to be positive. I'm scared for Brayden and our hearts keep breaking for him. Since his one request for this week was to see his cousins, we pulled together some fun family things that hopefully he'll be up for. We're trying to do some of his fun things at night & this weekend before Monday. Being a planner, I don't want to not plan but it's hard not to go there prepared yet planning for the worst is really what that would mean. So we're hoping with family fun & some good times for Brayden combined with a normal day tomorrow at school will help encourage him.