Raising the white flag of surrender

So many giggles last night, my stomach still hurts! We had fun visiting with Nini & Papaw and getting out of the house for a bit after learning Brayden's counts didn't fall too much after a week of treatment. We were all a little wound up last night but there's nothing as great as laughing so hard until it hurts! Brayden really does know how to get us going too. I remember being able to do that with my mom and grandma...he's got the gift! It felt so good just to laugh and be a little carefree.

This has honestly been one of the hardest weeks for me personally since we came home in May. I thought after a weekend getaway and not having a PICC line to flush daily or change bandages weekly and no longer being neutropenic and being afraid of every little germ would make things easier. My mom made a good point. I guess I'm now feeling the stress of those insane 5 weeks when we were in strict isolation and things were so stressful and hard. But in the moment, you push on and I probably didn't deal with it all. It's officially caught up with me. Everything this week has seemed so overwhelming. Thankfully, I raised the white flag of surrender and had a wonderful surprise waiting outside my front door when I woke up: my mom. She was awesome. She jumped in and did all she could to help. It's incredibly hard for me to admit I can't do it all. Between a full-time job, caring for Brayden, now his school year that's kicked off, and still keeping a house in tip-top shape to protect Brayden's immune system, it's just too much. I know I have to get better at asking for help. I'm so thankful for her being here when I needed her. Thanks, Momma! I know also I need to be better at surrendering to the One Who can help carry these burdens for me. It's still not easy. I don't know why...well, I guess I do. We're just human. So I'm praying I can begin to be more familiar with surrendering. It's certainly not going to be easy.

Haircut #3 happened Thursday night, thanks to Nini's help! Can you believe it? Yeah, us either. In 4 months since his diagnosis and start of treatment, we never imagined we'd still be having to cut his hair! True, it doesn't grow as fast, but isn't it bizarre that it grows at all when it should be gone? His Dr. told us (forgive me if I'm repeating) that he's never given a kiddo this much high-dose chemo and had him still have hair! We've stopped asking why; we're just thankful. I was bummed he wanted to part with the faux-hawk. But I'm proud he made his own decision despite all the peer pressure from his nurses and everyone on how cool it looks. He went with his own look, his own decision. And knowing he didn't keep it the old way just to make everyone happy was pretty impressive to me! Certainly something that took me A LOT longer to realize. He's a strong boy and his hair still looks cute.

After going to the local clinic to get his counts yesterday, we celebrated by going to HH (Sonic Happy Hour!). We were glad his counts were still high enough to be able to do a few things. PLUS - the biggee for yesterday was this was the first time Brayden had his port accessed at the local clinic. He was a little nervous when I put on the numbing cream an hour before his appointment. The nurses there are so great and were so patient and answered every question he asked brilliantly by showing him all the tools and taking it one step at a time. He did awesome. I'm hoping now going forward, it's a piece of cake for him.

We leave out VERY early again on Monday morning for Little Rock. Brayden will be admitted and begin his 2nd round of High-Dose Methotrexate. Thankfully he doesn't have to have a spinal (LP) this time, so he'll get to eat and drink on the trip down and I'm hoping he'll get a head-start on being ready to flush everything out of his system. We don't know how long, but again could be there 3-5 days. I'll do my best to post updates for everyone on how he's doing.

Brayden has been SO EXCITED to join in with his 4th grade class a couple times this week by calling in and reading! Popcorn reading is when you read and pick someone else and so on. His teacher was joking it was Brayden popcorn reading! Brayden would read, pick someone, then they'd pick him again! He definitely misses all his classmates. I had a wonderful meeting with his 3rd grade teacher (who was instrumental in helping us get Brayden through 3rd grade after his diagnosis) and his new 4th grade teacher. Such wonderful, Godly women! I'm just sad he's missed time learning from them, but am eager for January when he should be able to return to school. In the meantime, he's been very busy in keeping up his work at home. Some things aren't as easy for him and we're seeing some things pop up we were warned about with the spinal treatments he's been given. He's still persevering, but it's certainly a change for him he notices. It does bother him sometimes.

This week we're praying for safe travels to LR, an uneventful week with his treatments that flush quickly and no mouth sores! We're praying for Brayden's heart and spirit continue to be protected from the harm of leukemia and a cancer diagnosis. We're praying schoolwork becomes easier for him and his frustrations will be minimal as he works through new challenges. We're thankful he only had a few sores on his lip from the last treatment and that his counts have remained strong! We're thankful for a beautiful weekend we can't wait to enjoy!