Whom Shall I Fear

Chris Tomlin was being interviewed Thursday morning by our local radio station. His message & story behind this song stopped me in my tracks. With so much fear & stress & worry for Brayden's tests on Monday, this brought tears to my eyes with a wonderful & much-needed reminder. Here are the lyrics....It hasn't been released yet (November). But my sweet Momma sent me a link to listen & see the lyrics here. Click CHRIS TOMLIN's WHOM SHALL I FEAR...

Verse 1: You hear me when I call You are my morning song Though darkness fills the night It cannot hide the light Whom shall I fear

Verse 2: You crush the enemy Underneath my feet You are my Sword and Shield Though trouble lingers still Whom shall I fear

Chorus: I know Who goes before me I know Who stands behind The God of angel armies Is always on my side The One who reigns forever He is a Friend of mine The God of angel armies Is always by my side

Verse 3: My strength is in Your name For You alone can save You will deliver me Yours is the victory

Chorus: I know Who goes before me I know Who stands behind The God of angel armies Is always on my side The One who reigns forever He is a Friend of mine The God of angel armies Is always by my side Whom shall I fear Whom shall I fear

Bridge: And nothing formed against me shall stand You hold the whole world in Your hands I’m holding onto Your promises You are faithful You are faithful You are faithful

Chorus: I know Who goes before me I know Who stands behind The God of angel armies Is always on my side The One who reigns forever He is a Friend of mine The God of angel armies Is always by my side

Prayers & update

We definitely felt bathed in prayers yesterday evening. It was such a different atmosphere for our little family than the night before. We're so grateful and appreciative for all the prayerful support. I've said it again and again since Brayden's diagnosis....there's no question God has held us many, many times when it seemed too difficult to make it through on our own. I can't imagine Brayden having to face all that he has without the foundation of faith and the same is true for us as parents. We each felt God's peace so strongly last night and instead of being overwhelmed by fear & uncertainty, we were able to be peacefully at rest. Being able to talk about things with my husband without breaking down was a huge step! We're trying to plan for Monday without planning for the worst and that's a challenge. There's still the worry there, no doubt. It's almost harder now because we're not as naive about it all. Before, we didn't know what we didn't know. Now, we know more than we wish we did about the awful effects and stories from other parents about relapse. We're just praying everything's okay. Honestly though...to be completely, brutally honest - it's an awful time for us. We're trying our best to be strong for Brayden but Bryan & I aren't doing so well. We're trying not to crack. The stress, fear, worry is almost overwhelming. Bryan & I are both so anxiety-ridden, it's insane. We're both trying to be positive. I'm scared for Brayden and our hearts keep breaking for him. Since his one request for this week was to see his cousins, we pulled together some fun family things that hopefully he'll be up for. We're trying to do some of his fun things at night & this weekend before Monday. Being a planner, I don't want to not plan but it's hard not to go there prepared yet planning for the worst is really what that would mean. So we're hoping with family fun & some good times for Brayden combined with a normal day tomorrow at school will help encourage him.

Please pray....

Please forgive the length of this message....I am not good with brevity! But I hoped having more details will allow each of you to know how to pray & understand Brayden's needs. I think you all know of Brayden's 3 1/2 year battle with a rare form of Leukemia. He's persevered & had so much resilience and fought with such grace & love for God being prayerful & steadfast in faith. We couldn't be prouder of him! Shortly after his last chemo in August, we were sent to a specialist for his kidneys. We've been battling that in prayer as well. Yesterday was ANOTHER trip. We were overjoyed after the 3rd round of tests this time yesterday, the Urology specialist has determined Brayden won't need surgery on his kidneys! He will still have to be monitored closely but we were praising God for his right kidney function to still be there and not to have to put Brayden through any more pain. That news was quickly overshadowed when we went to see his Oncologist. Brayden has struggled since his last treatment with the lasting effects of chemo & radiation for those 40 months with his legs & other effects he works to shield others from. But we've been growing in our concern & worry about his headaches, nosebleeds, & suddenly last week....bruising. For a family who's been toe to toe battling this monster, those are things that send fear through you no matter your strength of faith. His Oncologist shared with us his concern in some "abnormalities" in Brayden's blood work results from yesterday. He was very cautious & tentative with his words in front of Brayden and has always been positive with us. It took everything we had to hold it together in that room & be strong for Brayden. Just hearing that his Oncologist was 'concerned' knocked the wind out of us. We go back to all we know...to pray & ask for prayers. So many (more than we even know) have stood in the gap for us & for our family in prayer the last 40+ months. We know there are so many that have a special place in their hearts for Brayden. We just ask again that you join us in prayer for Brayden. We have to return next Monday to ACH for a battery of tests - the same ones that first confirmed his diagnosis 3 1/2 years ago. Brayden is keenly aware of what this could mean....we just celebrated having his last of these tests in August & didn't think we'd have to have these again so soon. Next Monday at Arkansas Children's Hospital, his Oncologist will perform a chest x-ray, sinus x-ray, bone marrow aspirate, and spinal sedation to check his spinal fluid (brain cells) to see if there are any relapsing Leukemia cells. It's hard to even type the word 'relapse.' I've been too scared to say it, much less type it, since April 2009. It's every parents nightmare for their child who has battled this. The drive home was very difficult. We were trying to hold it together & be strong & be faithful for his healing, as we've always been. I keep telling God, just about the time I think I've learned the lesson of how to put ALL my faith & trust in you, I realize I'm still a baby at this concept. I guess as a parent, I don't know how Abraham ever did it! To lay our child at the feet of Jesus is more than I'm able to do! Our love for them is so great & I know they are never ours - God's only given them to us for a time. But it's breaking this Momma's heart.... I'm not sure what the rest of the week will bring since he had a really rough night. I want him to have normalcy. But we are gathering family & trying to find a couple of special things to do before Monday. I don't want to even type out what all of this will mean but those tests all have to come back good! No trace of Leukemia blasts, all healthy & normal cells, no irregularities in his lungs, chest, brain. I've been up most of the night praying over him & we just ask others believe with us & join us in prayer for Brayden's complete & total healing! He's been through so much already...we JUST heard from Make-A-Wish a few hours ago about his wish coming true....he doesn't know it yet. We really want him to be able to just have fun & not have to worry about his health for once and just be a kid. In His Love, Lisa